Have a day!

Today has been one of those days that I just feel all over the place. I am sad, anxious, confused, drained and just very emotional. I also have been feeling really overwhelmed because work has not been the easiest while being in treatment. I finally made the decision that I am going to take a leave from work to focus on recovery. I think its just too much for me to be stressed about work while I am trying to learn how to cope with my emotions and behaviors. This was not an easy decision as my work is pretty important to me and the thought of someone else doing my work makes me feel uneasy. My perfectionism when it comes to my work is a little maddening. My body image has been pretty bad as well lately. I have felt that I am constantly gaining weight. The person I see in the mirror I really don’t recognize anymore. My clothes also have been fitting me a bit tight again. I feel I am such a failure right now because I have been lying to myself and my team. What I can grazing on food is in actuality bingeing. And I don’t feel good about that at all. I am so ashamed. But I know that this is all part of the process and that I need to step back and center and take it step by step. And just have a day…Have a day

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